The Rule

Lately, I’ve been really thinking about the goals that I have for myself. I haven’t set any actual goals for myself until this year. At 20 years old, I have finally taken my first steps in taking control of my life and creating an existence that I want to be a part of. When I first began  brainstorming my goals, I basically came up with the first things that popped up in my mind. I’ve recently come up with a new way to determine my goals. Some people may have a lot of catching up to do; I happen to be one of those people. I’ve determined these new goals and I like to call them “patient zero”. Anyone can come up with goals for themselves, but it’s how you decide to reach those goals that is important. I am weaker in some areas than others. I have now put my focus on the areas that I know need more attention. So instead I think, “what needs to change in my life that will then lead to more successes?” What comes first? The starting point is probably not the three goals you came up with on the top of your head. It’s the small, simple actions that you can work on every day that will eventually lead you to your dream.

  Photographed at Banff National Park

There are often so many things we want to change in our life. Setting too many goals can be overstimulating to your brain. The brain is so powerful. It works constantly, always moving, never taking a break. The rule of threes is a way to rid yourself of all that overstimulation. Let me explain. The rule of threes is something I began living by this year. It’s three goals that you set for yourself. No more than three. No less than three. If you feed your brain everything you want to change in your life all at once, you’ll become burnt out, overwhelmed, and it will only take longer to reach each goal. Once deciding on these three goals, you’ll be glued to those goals and they will meander in your mind until the day you say “I did it!”

Personally, I’ve noticed some improvement over the past few months. I’m doing very well in school, which is one of the three goals I set for myself back in November. However, I recently noticed how I wasn’t retaining all of the information and truly wasn’t putting forward as much effort as I knew I could. I began thinking smaller, to think back on how I could retain the information, and what was setting me back from reaching what I classify as my fullest potential.

Let me share this with you,

  1. Be kinder to the planet, people, and myself (No specific order, just be KIND).
  2. Limit phone use. Like really limit the phone use. Use it only as a resource.
  3. Tame your anxiety and accept it. Read more. Yoga. Meditate, damn it.

I know I have work to do. A lot. My mom will probably read this and say “Olivia, why is school not your number one priority?” I’m chuckling a little because I know I’m right. Here’s the thing, school is important to me. I mean come on, I’ve been at it for how many years now? I’m finishing up my junior year of undergrad and I’m so close, I can almost see the light! Anyhow, school is still something I am focusing on, but I feel I’m strong enough to say I have that part under control. I’m excelling in school and it does not need to be my key to happiness. Because let’s be real, there’s no way in hell that going to college is the key to happiness. Scan that into your brain. I used to think that in order to be successful, you had to go to college. But no. The only reason I am going to college is because I was never able to take school seriously. I never enjoyed what I was learning in school until I took over the reins and found a subject I was genuinely passionate about. I know that isn’t out of the ordinary either because I have met many people in my life with these same thoughts. Now that I’m finally learning about subjects I enjoy, I am eager to learn and it just comes naturally (it’s about time).

I have made these changes to my goals because, well, for one, I’ve noticed how angry I am all the time. Angry at everyone who has wronged me in some way. I look down on those people and blame them constantly. I’m so tired of living a life where I waste my time angry. The moral of the story is, yeah people suck. But you don’t have to. You can be so much better than those people, not to prove anything to them, but instead to prove that you can be happy after every wound they have left. I am also choosing to be more kind to my own self. Sometimes I find myself saying nasty things to myself (I sometimes talk to myself, don’t act like you don’t). It’s so unfair to my brain to hear those untrue things I often rant about because it usually stems off of how someone else made me feel. I also added the planet in here because that’s a given. I mean look around and smell the damn roses. Be kind to this planet. I think this should honestly be everyone’s first priority. A girl can dream, ok? So yes, I hope to be more kind.

Limiting my phone use is my second goal. It’s consumed so many of my thoughts and time. I think that there are many great uses for a phone, but lately, I have found myself completely glued. I’ve been trying to focus on my blog and have been writing more, but I still find myself wandering off onto social media and absolutely wasting my time. Time I can never get back.

Anxiety is a big one for me. I can honestly say I have never been faced with this extreme amount of anxiety in my life. I’ve always lived with it, but I am at my point where I feel it is spiraling. I’ve already begun taking my first steps on getting this monster under control. Not only controlling it but also accepting it. Something I’ve never really thought to do. I’ve always tried “fixing” my anxiety, but who am I kidding! It isn’t going anywhere and that is totally OK. I’ve begun therapy again, something I believe everyone should attend because whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a bunch of BS in our lives that sometimes gets hard to deal with on our own. I’ve also started reading more. I’ve begun reading first, we make the beast beautiful, written by Sarah Wilson. I will most likely mention this book in a future post but I can say, hands down, it has changed my entire perception on how I will live with this monster.

Well, this is square one. Finding the little triggers that I haven’t perfected which are preventing me from reaching my “bigger picture”. Little changes here and there go a long way. But, this will take patience. Isn’t that what life is all about? They never said it was easy.

1 thought on “The Rule

  1. It’s good to have some structure and discipline in our life ~ it’s our checks & balances, to help us make good decisions for ourselves and with others. Having boundaries is important too – it keeps us from putting ourselves into situations we shouldn’t be in that end up hurting ourselves and others.


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